That is Not Lovely

Time flies by. I attempt to complete all my tasks on the list in my head. Clean the house. Feed the kids. Complete Life Group homework. Make time for hubby. The last thing on my list (sadly) is blogging. I would love to do it daily, as I first intended to, but it just doesn't happen. I continually think about doing it, it's just a matter of finding the time. Put God always shows me when I have waited too long and points me back. Yesterday I was very snappy, short tempered, and angry for no general reason (other than being tired, not a great excuse.) Then, last night I was reading the kids devotional when I had to stop and laugh out loud. The title of the days message was "Forget About It" and the verse was "Love is patient...it does not easily become angry. It does not keep track of other people's wrongs." 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. I love how God reprimands me in the most gentle, humorous way! I am trying to teach my kids to be patient, slow to anger and forgiving, after I yelled at them for tiny infractions of "Mom's Law." And I kept getting more and more angry because I was not forgiving them (or repenting) from what happened! I was "keeping track of other people's wrongs!" I was completely humbled by the Lord's gentle reminder that I cannot teach what I am not willing to do myself. Actions speak louder then words, and yelling speaks louder than a devotional. I repented to the Lord and vowed to make tomorrow a better day. Patience and being slow to anger go hand in hand. Why do I usually get angry? Because someone is not obeying me immediately. I am not saying children should not obey their parents the first time, I am saying my expectation of lightening quick obedience is not realistic. My speed of 100 miles an hour is generally not the speed of a 4 year old trying to put his shoes on or picking out his clothes. One definition of patience is even tempered, the capacity for calmly enduring a painful situation. I would say trying to get out the door on time for church while a 1 year old and 4 year old are trying to brush their teeth and pick out a toy for the car in their own sweet time is a painful situation. But whose fault is it that we didn't have enough time? Not theirs! It's mine for not getting everyone up early enough. So if I should be impatient with anyone, it should be myself.
I am working on setting up my life to avoid "triggers" for impatience and anger. These include giving myself enough time to not be rushing out the door. I am also trying to go at a slower speed that is more realistic for my childrens ages. I want to be a model of patience to my children, not a model of anger. My verse for motivation today is not necessarily directed towards mothers. It is for people spreading the Word of the Lord. But isn't that what motherhood is? "I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season, reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching." 1 Timothy 4:1-2. This verse is kind of out of left field, but it really spoke to me as a mom. "Be ready in season and out of season." Whether your ready to be patient or not, you have to be. "Reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching." Everything I teach my children, from how to obey, listen to wisdom, make the right choice, etc., I need to do so with biblical teaching and patience. My goal for this week is to be patient. I'm sure I will be tested. But with God, I can be who He made me to be. Will you be patient this week?