If it is your first time visiting, you might want to start here for a little background on why I started this journey.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

True Joy!

Joy can be a variable emotion depending on many factors. Do you only feel joy when everything goes according to your plans? When things are going your way? Or do you find joy in the surprises God sends along the way? Even if it's not what you had planned on? God gave me a first hand experience with this last week. God decided to send us a little surprise that was not in my immediate plans. God put a tiny blessing in my body, a baby :-) Now, because I am so good at running my mouth and talking about my plans instead of God's plans ;-), you might have heard me say that we were planning on trying for #3 in July after my sisters wedding. Well, God decided that he wanted to teach me that I can't plan anything, that He is the master of my future and I can only hope. And I am honestly okay with this. I will now be pregnant in my sister wedding, but that's okay with me (and okay with her!) I will be pregnant all Summer long (for the third time), but I can deal with it. Ava and this baby will only be just over 2 years apart, and I prefer my children to be 3 years apart. But you know what? God knows my children, my situation, and ME better than anyone on this planet, including myself. I know He takes the desires of my heart and makes them better than I could even imagine. I think God has finally changed this control freak into His daughter who trusts Him whole heartedly. Who would have ever thought!
 My verse for today is Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Also, Philippians 4:4 "Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again--rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." I am just going to rest in that verse for awhile, what peace! God bless :-)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Slow to Anger...Oh That's What I am Supposed to Be Doing.

Some days...Today has been one of those days. From the moment Tucker woke up this morning, it has been nonstop power struggles and disciplining. As calm as I was through the majority of the disciplining, I lost it towards the end. Love is slow to anger, and today, I was not. 1 Corinthians 13:5b states, "Love...is not easily angered." Sometimes I feel justified in being angry, after all I did take almost an hour of being screamed at and having to discipline the same child for the same thing three times. But that is completely wrong. I think of all the things I have done that have angered the Lord. And does He hold that over my head? Absolutely not! He forgives me for all my wrong doings, as long as I repent. My goal is to try to demonstrate that same love and compassion for my children. Christ is the only perfect one, we all make mistakes. Yet, Christ is the one who died for our sins, WHILE we were still sinners! He loved us despite our faults, and I need to do the same with my kids. It is my job to lead my children with a good example, asking for forgiveness when I become angry. Being a parent isn't always easy, and neither is being a kid. We both need grace and mercy. I am trying to teach them and asking the Lord to teach me. My inspiration for today is not so much about forgiveness or anger, but about teaching. It's a reminder to keep my cool in all circumstances, because my kids are learning from me at all times. "You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Deuteronomy 11:19. I pray every day for better control of my emotions because He is the only one that can truly get them under control. I am trying to teach my children to do the same. Is this something you need to work on? If so, let me know and I will pray for you :-) Have a blessed day.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

That is Not Lovely

Time flies by. I attempt to complete all my tasks on the list in my head. Clean the house. Feed the kids. Complete Life Group homework. Make time for hubby. The last thing on my list (sadly) is blogging. I would love to do it daily, as I first intended to, but it just doesn't happen. I continually think about doing it, it's just a matter of finding the time. Put God always shows me when I have waited too long and points me back. Yesterday I was very snappy, short tempered, and angry for no general reason (other than being tired, not a great excuse.) Then, last night I was reading the kids devotional when I had to stop and laugh out loud. The title of the days message was "Forget About It" and the verse was "Love is patient...it does not easily become angry. It does not keep track of other people's wrongs." 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. I love how God reprimands me in the most gentle, humorous way! I am trying to teach my kids to be patient, slow to anger and forgiving, after I yelled at them for tiny infractions of "Mom's Law." And I kept getting more and more angry because I was not forgiving them (or repenting) from what happened! I was "keeping track of other people's wrongs!" I was completely humbled by the Lord's gentle reminder that I cannot teach what I am not willing to do myself. Actions speak louder then words, and yelling speaks louder than a devotional. I repented to the Lord and vowed to make tomorrow a better day. Patience and being slow to anger go hand in hand. Why do I usually get angry? Because someone is not obeying me immediately. I am not saying children should not obey their parents the first time, I am saying my expectation of lightening quick obedience is not realistic. My speed of 100 miles an hour is generally not the speed of a 4 year old trying to put his shoes on or picking out his clothes. One definition of patience is even tempered, the capacity for calmly enduring a painful situation. I would say trying to get out the door on time for church while a 1 year old and 4 year old are trying to brush their teeth and pick out a toy for the car in their own sweet time is a painful situation. But whose fault is it that we didn't have enough time? Not theirs! It's mine for not getting everyone up early enough. So if I should be impatient with anyone, it should be myself.
I am working on setting up my life to avoid "triggers" for impatience and anger. These include giving myself enough time to not be rushing out the door. I am also trying to go at a slower speed that is more realistic for my childrens ages. I want to be a model of patience to my children, not a model of anger. My verse for motivation today is not necessarily directed towards mothers. It is for people spreading the Word of the Lord. But isn't that what motherhood is? "I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season, reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching." 1 Timothy 4:1-2. This verse is kind of out of left field, but it really spoke to me as a mom. "Be ready in season and out of season." Whether your ready to be patient or not, you have to be. "Reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching." Everything I teach my children, from how to obey, listen to wisdom, make the right choice, etc., I need to do so with biblical teaching and patience. My goal for this week is to be patient. I'm sure I will be tested. But with God, I can be who He made me to be. Will you be patient this week?