I Can't Forget This

I don't know what has come over me today. I am tearing up about everything, every time I look at my kids I can't keep in my joy about who they are and my sadness about how quick they are growing up. And because I know some of you are thinking it, no I am not pregnant.
Maybe it started with attending a family members quinceñera yesterday and seeing her go through the traditions of becoming a woman. And maybe, God took that thought and transformed it to make my heart and mind realize that this time goes by fast. Days become weeks, months become years, and one day I am going to have teenage children, then grown up children. Ok, can't really handle that thought right now, sniff sniff.
I know it is my job, my mission, to grow these sweet babies up to be responsible adults who are passionate about the Lord. And I am excited to see what God's plan is for them. But...sometimes I get caught up in the plan and don't see them for today. And right now, I want to capture my memories of my girl so I never forget how she was when she was 3 years 6 months and 30 days. My sweet Ava girl. God just spoke so much to my Spirit today about this sweet girl and I can't forget what He said, so I have to transcribe it here for all of history. One of my reasons for writing is to reach people through what God puts on my heart. The other is to remember my life the way it happened, without time leaving out any detail. So this post is more for the secondary reason, but I hope it touches your heart anyway.
My Ava. As you may have seen from other blog posts and Facebook statuses, Ava is a mix of sweet and sassy. I had a license plate frame when I was in high school that said, "Half the sugar, twice the spice." Little did I know that would be describing my future daughter. She can be so sassy at times, but the next minute be the most loving, precious little thing. She gives me a run for my money, but she also makes me laugh the most. She says the funniest things and has the most contagious little giggle. And her love for God...it really blows my mind. When Ava was a baby someone I respect very much told me that Ava was going to grow up to do amazing things for God, and I believe it in my heart very much.
She talks about Jesus and God often. Just a few weeks ago on a particularly difficult day, I asked her if Jesus was in her heart. She said no. I asked her if she wanted Jesus in her heart, and she said yes. We talked about what that means and said the sinners prayer-childrens version. I know she is 3, and I know she is little, but she knows it in her heart. She asks me, "if i do this, will it make Jesus happy?" "Would Jesus like it if I do this?" To have faith like a child, I yearn for that simple faith.
She loves to pretend she is a teacher and I am a student. Today she was the Bible study teacher. She pulled out my mom's Bible study book and set up some chairs and called me over. She set up her book and said, "Okay kiddo, tell me something about Jesus," in her best teacher voice. She let me give a short answer, then proceeded to tell me about "worship and praying and singing and praying and more worship. That's for Jesus. Okay now, tell me what I just said." It makes my heart so full to hear her talk about Him. I can't even handle it sometimes. 
She has this understanding, this amazing memory that when you tell her something about God, she remembers. She sings about Him, she talks about Him, she teaches her dolls about Him. I truly cannot wait to see what God is going to do with this passionate, persistent, joyful little person all wrapped up in the cutest little package. That's what gets me through the bittersweet sadness of days gone by.
Something about her heart today just made me realize, I cannot forget this day, I cannot forget her like this. I have to remember, I just have to! Tomorrow is going to come, and the next day, and the next year. But, today I have today. And tomorrow I get to see the beautiful, strong, loving woman that God made her to be. I pray every day that we can have a strong relationship year in and year out and that God gives me the days to see His plan unfold. My sweet Ava Selina. You are going to change the world.

Now the tears are crazy flowing. I can't write anymore. But I will always have today embedded in technological history. I have a little bit of mommy guilt for writing about one of my children and not the others, so I want you to know I love them all equally! (Of course :-) I just pray God will strike me with the same need to chronicle a day for Tucker and Sadie as well, which I think and hope He will.
If this touched you, I have a recommendation for you. Do this for your children. In a journal, on a blog, in an email, even on Facebook if you have to---write down what your child is like right now. Write down all of the things you love about them and what God has spoken into your heart. We think we will always remember these things, but we don't. Take a couple of minutes to do this, you will be happy you did later down the road.