Hard--->Tenderhearted

Some days I have a hard time understanding why God wants me to homeschool Tucker. As we speak he is (supposed to be) working on an independent assignment. It's his least favorite: handwriting. He is just not a fine motor skills kind of guy. He stops every word or two and reminds me how much he dislikes it. It's pure joy for me...not. Sometimes being mom and teacher is not fun. But I know God told me to do this. And I know that Tucker is not the only one learning new things. God is using these scriptures to remind me that He is refining me everyday.
Colossians 3:12b-13- "... you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others."
Not only are three out of five virtues fruits of the Spirit, but all five are extremely necessary for the season of life God has put in me in right now. On any given day of homeschooling, I break, pretty much, every single command. Gentleness has always been one of the hardest fruits for me. I am just not a gentle person, apparently. But God is. And I am striving to be like Him. He can teach me how to adopt that personality trait, just like He adopted me-permanently. Tenderhearted mercy! Yet another hard one for me. Why am I so hard??? I have been ruling my roost with an iron fist, running my classroom like a dictator. Tenderhearted. The word alone almost makes me want to cry since it is so far from my heart. It makes me remember when my kids were babies (before they could talk back to me) and how tenderly I held them to my heart, I never wanted to let them go. Lord, please help me to go back to that heart. They are still my babies no matter how big they are. Kindness, humility, patience. All things I lack. But thank God, my Father in Heaven, has these qualities woven into His word to teach me how to treat my children. And verse 13, "Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." As immature as it is to admit it, I take ridiculous offense to Tucker disobeying me. Like scary offense. I so easily forget all of the times I have disobeyed the Lord and He has forgiven me. And I have the audacity to not extend the same compassion, humility, and  tenderhearted mercy to them who have such less offense. Oh, I am so convicted right now. God is working so beautifully in my life, I cannot waste time feeling guilt or condemnation when I see the glorious forgiveness I have received and can then turn around and extend it to others. I am so amped on the Holy Spirit right now. Imagine me doing a whooping yell and a happy dance right now :) :) :) Lord, You are SO GOOD!!! Please let me take this Word into my heart like the blood that runs through it, so deeply I cannot live without it. Change my heart from stone to a soft, comfy, cozy place that my family wants to be. Help me to be tenderhearted, gentle, patient, kind, and humble to, not only my children, but everyone I come in contact with in this dark world. Your Word is the air I breathe, I can't live without it. Amen <3