Joy (Covered in Poop)

Sometimes, life is just perfect. And sometimes, life is full of crap. Literal crap, like a toddler covered in poop. This is what a found a few weeks ago in my youngest daughters room. Sadie was supposed to be taking a nap when I heard her chattering away to herself. When I poked my head in the room to check on her, my nose was met by the aroma which could mean nothing else.

¨Poop Mama!¨

She sounded so happy. As if she had discovered instead of waste coming out of her butt it was play-dough. There was my sweet baby, standing in her beautiful crib, covered in feces. In my horror I snatched her out of her crib, held her at arms length, ran her up the stairs, and plopped her in my tub. At this point I had enough sense in me to snap a picture, because, although at this moment I wanted nothing more then to make this go away, I knew later this would be something I was glad I documented.

After I scrubbed the literal crap out of my little girl, washed everything in the crib, and detailed that bed like it had never been cleaned before, I laughed. I laughed at this little person I made who had the idea that poop was fun to play with. I laughed that one day soon this would be a funny story to tell. I laughed because there was not much else I could do.

I thought about the children God has blessed me with that bring so many emotions and experiences to my life. Although it would be hard for you to think of a shenanigan that my kids haven´t pulled, I am thankful for their curiosity, their imagination, their tenacity, their spirit, and their joy. I could easily get upset, scream, and complain about all the mischief my kids get into (and don´t get me wrong, sometimes I do.) Or... I could laugh. I could imagine all the amazing things my kids will experience in their lifetime because of their active minds and unstoppable hearts. And I could imagine all the joy that I will experience by watching them live their dreams.

So if you gave me the choice between a well behaved, compliant child without curiosity and spunk or a spirited, joyful, child who is full of life, I would pick the one covered in poop any day.

¨A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.¨ Proverbs 17:22

A Lesson in Mommyhood

As I have said many times, this blog is a record of my journey through life so I can remember what happens, since time flies by. I have to record this conversation immediately so I don't forget the words.

Ava and I playing house while everyone else was at worship night:

Ava: Mommy, do you want to play house with me?

Me: Sure Ava.

Ava: Ok, you are the girl and I am the mommy. Ok?

Me: Ok.

Ava: I am going to put you to bed. (putting blankets on me.) Good night! I am going to sleep over here in my room.

Me: Mommy! Mommy! I need you, I'm scared! (reenacting a typical night in our house.)

Ava: It's ok honey, what's wrong, what happened?

Me: I had a bad dream, I want you.

Ava: Oh, it's ok. You know what I'm going to do? I am going to pray for you, ok? Jesus, please help Caite sleep with no dreams and help her to calm down so she can be happy tomorrow. In Jesus name, Amen. Ok, do you feel better? I can sleep right here next to you tonight if that makes you feel better.

Me: Ok mommy, I love you.

Ava: Ok, it's morning time!

Me: I don't feel good mommy, can you take care if me?

Ava: Yes, I am going to pray for you. Jesus, please heal her so she feels better so we can have a fun day tomorrow at the beach. Amen. Ok,I am going to get you some remedies. Ok, there you go, do you feel better?

Me: Yes mommy, thank you.

This game of role reversals went on for another hour quite similarly. I was sick, she would take care of me so sweetly. I would build a tower of blocks and she would take pictures and videos of me on the IPhone. She folded the laundry and I put them in piles. We mirrored our everyday life, but just with her doing my job and me doing her part.

But the cool thing about tonight is God uses the ordinary, everyday things to give us revelations and open our eyes. God gave me a few beautiful gems that I would have never noticed without Him.

1) Even though some days seem like my kids don't here a single word I say, they talk through me saying bedtime prayers, they scream in my face when I tell them they can't do something,even when all this happens, they still hear me. She said the exact things I say to her, "let me pray for you," "let me get you a remedy," "let me take a picture of you." When she is being mommy, she says the words she remembers mommy saying.

2) When I first pretended I was scared after she put me to bed, I was being silly to show her how she sounds sometimes. But for a split second before she opened her mouth to comfort me, I was afraid. I was afraid she would mimic me in a different way. If she said, "you're fine, go to sleep, do not get up again," she would have been just as accurate. That made me sad... Sometimes conviction hurts.

3) Several times this week we have discussed treating others how you want to be treated, and tonight my tiny girl showed that to me. She was so sweet and loving and kind. She was patient and gentle to her "little girl." She showed me how she wanted to be treated as a child.

I was so in awe of this little creature. This child who can go from laughing to punching in seconds, who feels everything in life 100%, who is so unpredictably volatile sometimes I wonder how she will get through the next 15 years of school. This baby girl was being the sweetest mama I wish that I could be daily.

I could feel guilty for the way I act sometimes, I could wish I was the perfect mom, but I'm not going to do either of those things. I am going to take tonight as the sweet, precious gem of a reminder that it is. A reminder that God can allow them to remember the good and forget the bad. And, that the lessons I am trying to teach my children can be taught me in even more clarity then I have been able to teach them. I learned a lesson in being a mom tonight from my little girl. Thank you Lord for allowing these beautiful lessons to come from the mouths of babes.

The father (mother) of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are wise. (Proverbs 23:24 NLT)

 

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Freedom to Grow

Time flies by. Especially when you don't have a great concept of time anyway. I feel like my last post wasn't long ago, but it was. In the time that has passed, some interesting things have happened. One of them is this-

I had been dreaming about this piece for at least a year, probably longer. I was hesitant at first, because I don't know what my profession will be in the second part of my life (when all my babies are grown and don't need me anymore, waaaaaa!) What if I want to do soemthing that I cannot do with a huge tattoo on my arm??? But God showed me that I am to live in freedom, not fear. Whatever He leads me to will allow for my most recent permanent addition. I might have been worried and fearful for years just to end up doing something that I could have done with tattoos anyway. And not only that, but having a tattoo so large and prominent is a great witnessing tool. I have already been asked about it several times in the last few weeks about it by non believers. They always say the same thing, "Ooo, self control. That's the hardest one." And as my babies are learning to read and I am teaching them the fruit of the spirit, I will have it in a very handy place for them to read from ;-)

So now that I have conquered the fears through Christ's freedom, I feel very different. I feel bold. Kind of B.A. (if you not know what that is, it's probably a good thing.) I have a new passion and no one is going to stop me. It's a lovely feeling ;-) And it is time I started writing some of these thoughts down again.

I stumbled across my mom's NIV/The Message side by side Bible today. I started looking up some favorite passages. The translation of Galations 5: 22-26 struck me as so brand new. I love The Message, not as a study Bible, but as a different interpretation with the same meaning, a breathe of fresh air, an understandable story. Read with me,

"22-23 But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

23-24 Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.

25-26 Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original." Galatians 5:22-26

Read it again (please). Soak it in. Breathe the words. Meditate on what He is telling you. I love every single letter. Fist of all, where Paul says, "He brings gifts into our lives." I always thought of the fruit as something that was growing, like a joint partnership between God and I growing these fruit. But I can also see them as gifts. God is giving me these gifts, things I could never do on my own. My pastor said something funny this weekend. He said that you never see a tree trying to grow fruit, struggling to make it happen (and then he acted out how that would look.) It is something that happens naturally when God grows something, when we rely on Him, water our life with His living water, it grows. And He can grow things mire beautiful then any man can make. And this part, this part is awesome: "legalism is helpless, it only gets in the way." Something I hear frequently from one of my favorite bands, Casting Crowns, is that Jesus wants everyone to know Him, but that sometimes we get in the way. When we care more about enforcing rules then reaching hearts, we get in His way. He freed us from the old law, live in that freedom! He freed us from our sins and death! Live like that means something to you! It's the best gift you could ever receive, and YOU get to invite people to receive that gift freely! Why aren't we doing this more and with more passion! Let's do this people!!!! And to make it even easier, we don't have to care what people think of us and we don't have to judge others, either. Verse 26 says "that means we will not compare ourselves with each other as is one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original." However you feel called to reach people is how you are supposed to do it. The way I do it and the way you do it may not be the same, but we are both called. We are original people with a identical purpose: shine the light of Jesus so bright, no one can deny you are different from this world. They are going to want what you have, and that is the love and forgiveness that comes with a relationship with the one and only Savior. Is there anything more exciting then that!?! Ok, I am excited. I hope you are too. What is one thing you can start doing today? One thing that Godnhas been putting on your heart to reach people? Do it. Maybe posting a scripture on Facebook. Maybe talking to your neighbor. Maybe inviting your coworker to church. Whatever it is, do it. I promise you it will be worth it.

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