What Do I Do With This Child?

Where do I even start... My 4 year old is insane. Ok... Probably not, but sometimes I really do wonder. She is prone to have wild tantrums that turn her into an animal like creature whose rage cycle can only be shutdown by isolation from people and until she fills her yelling/screaming/kicking quota. I wish I was kidding or exaggerating, but it happens. And I am frustrated. I think I am the most frustrated because after trying everything under the sun I thought I had found a solution. We worked on a goal of not having tantrums all day, and if she made it through the day she got a sticker on her "Happy Chart." For six days straight she made her goal everyday and I felt like we had finally found something that's works. But in the last 24 hours she has had two. And they have been worse then ever. It's like she saved up all her crazy juice and now spewed it all over us.

"God, what do I do with this child?"

Now I sit with my Bible, looking through passages that I have underlined before, searching for an answer. I turn to my trusty Fruit of the Spirit for comfort, but God draws me right below it.

"Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith." (Galatians 6:1-5, 9, 10 NLT) (underlines mine)

This. This is exactly what I needed. I'm sure Paul had adults in mind when he wrote this, but the way it relates to a parent and child is spot on. Boy, did I need this one,

"if another believer is overcome by some sin,"- When Ava is struggling with her emotions and self control, she is overcome (if you could witness how overcome she was, you wouldn't believe your eyes). And we as parents sometimes are overcome while they are overcome. We are overcome with anger at the behavior, resentment that you have to deal with situation again, and fear that they are always going to be like this. I pray everyday that this phase will pass. Quickly.

"should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path."-The out of control behavior caused by refusing to listen to someone who wants to help you is a sin I would like to help her learn to give to Jesus while she is a child making child size mistakes in my home rather then making adult size mistakes that have lasting consequences later. How can I help her with that? By matching her anger with more anger? Or "gently and humbly" helping her back to the path of peace. And sanity. For both of us.

What I have learned so far in my parenting journey is this: every tantrum, every sassy answer, every lie, every screaming no!, is an opportunity. It's an opportunity for me to show my kids Jesus' love, care, and forgiveness. He loves us when we sin against Him, even though we don't deserve it. He cares enough to gently help us back onto the right path through gentle correction and discipline. And He forgives us. Every. Single. Time. Every time. When we don't deserve it. Ever. But He does anyway. And that is my goal, to show my children Jesus through me. I will make mistakes, and I pray they will forgive me. But I will try. And because God knew we would get frustrated, just like I am today, He gave us this verse.

"So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up."(Galatians 6:9 NLT)

He gives me what I need. Every single time I ask for it. And even when I don't.

Thank you Lord for never giving up on me, even when I deserve that. Please give me the same unrelenting love and commitment to my children, even when they don't deserve it. You are so good to us. Amen

 

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