When It Rains...

It seems quite appropriate that it rained yesterday and today, because life has been pouring down on me. After the last two days, I feel like getting my car and driving away and not coming back. Without going into too much detail, most parts of my life are in difficult phases. My 4 year old (sorry, 4 and 3/4) is going through an attitude phase where he has no respect for his father or me. He rages and throws fits when he feels like it. And no amount of discipline is changing it. My almost 2 year old has a new angry face and walks around saying, "I no like that" about most things. Problems with close family members are overwhelming us and we can't agree on what to do about them. On top of all this I have some ferocious hormones going on and I cry about the smallest things. After all of this reaching its maximum point this afternoon, my first desire is to drive away. But I know in my heart that is not what I really want. I just want a reprieve from this pressure. And when I turn to the Bible and prayer, I do get that reprieve. It is not easy to read the Bible when my children are screaming and I can't even hear myself think. But I pray. And I listen to worship music. And I do what I can. Then I read the Bible when there is peace, and in the morning, and at night. It is the only thing I can do. Because shutting close family out of my life is not an option. And closing my kids in their rooms all day is not an option (although I wish it was sometimes ;-). And driving away from it all isn't an option.

God is putting a song in my head and it is so fitting (of course!) "Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns. I have included the lyrics below. I know that God uses all things for the good of those who love Him, and the trials we go through bring us closer to him. I am going to listen to this song and thank God for all He does.
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I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus:]
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus]

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth