2011 In Review

2011 In Review...
5 year anniversary (1/22)
Pulled Tucker out of preschool to homeschool him (2/3)
Found out I was pregnant (2/7)
Turned 24 (3/15)
Quit my job (3/27)
Jimmy turned 28 (5/25)
Tucker turned 5 (7/12)
Erin & Taylor got married (7/15)
Riley Family Reunion (7/10-7/16)
Ava turned 2 (8/25)
Started homeschooling for kindergarten (8/29)
Laughlin trip (9/2-9/5)
Las Vegas trip (9/8-9/11)
Gave birth to Sadie Mae @ 9:57pm (10/8)
Crazy whirlwind of kids, schooling, church, holidays, and fun ever since.

As you can see, we have had a life changing year. I knew this year would be different, I just had no idea how different. Homeschooling has changed our daily routine. Adding another member to our tribe has completely changed the way our family operates. We don't leave the house as much anymore. I have to *really* want something to take all the kids to Target. Some days I don't feel like I can do it. But then I remember God made me and only me to be these kids mom. And, he told me to homeschool my son this year. So I know he will show me the way. Everyday gets a little closer to my new normal.
As we go into 2012 I again anticipate change. The theme for 2012 in the Balderas home is "Have An Extraordinary Life." More to come on that in the new year. What do you want 2012 to be? It's up to you, ask God to help you change your life to what He wants it to be. God bless :-)

Washed in the Christmas Spirit

Christmas time is here (as I type this the Charlie Brown christmas song is playing in my head.) Another year has flown by and it is that time again. I usually set up my Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving, listen to Mariah Carey Christmas a million times, and put myself in the Christmas spirit. This year has been different. We don't have a tree yet. Not a single Christmas decoration is up. And I have only been to the mall once, for the first and last time this season. I don't watch the news, read the paper, get magazines, etc. so I am not hearing stories of people pepper spraying each other for Xbox's or even a positive story of generosity. I kind of appreciate my little cocoon. It allows me to decide what I want Christmas to be for my family and not have the worlds view of Christmas forced on me. To me Christmas is not about Santa, its about Jesus. It can be about gifts, about getting the perfect gift for my loved ones, the gift that will make them smile. Not about what I am getting. Its about traditions that my grandma passed down to my mom to me and now to my children. Its about helping those who are in need and showing them that Christmas is about Jesus coming into this world to be a light. This Christmas feels different. Yes, somethings are the same, like the years old traditions. But the arrival of a new little blessing to our family has tipped the balance, and I have to examine what I do and why I do it. I am not just going along with all the craziness of Christmas because I can't, I don't have the time or the energy. I think what I am trying to say is I usually feel swept up in the Christmas madness and this year I am washed in the Christmas spirit. I am preparing to celebrate the birthday of my loving Savior and BFF while also trying to impart to my children what this season really is.
I am not sure if what is in my head is coming out in my typing, but I hope it somewhat makes sense. I am a little brain dead from having a newborn and two chatterboxes with me 24 hours a day :-) Think about what is truly important this season, and forget everything else. Make it a time to celebrate the Lord, not going crazy with the madness. Happy Birthday Jesus <3

Three

I am coming out of the fog that is created upon the entrance of a new life into the world. This fog had the ability to be completely blissful or scary and confusing. I'm sad to say this fog has been both, bittersweet. The joy of a new life mixed with the sadness that I will never be able to spend as much time alone with this baby as I did with the first. Guilt over not being able to provide enough time and attention for each child, so it feels like no one wins. Frustration that I can't get everything done that I need to get done. Add hormones and screaming children to this and you get a mental breakdown (or two). Still, with all these things, with the underlying happiness that a new baby brings. It is hard for me to admit this, because I like to feel like I can do anything. I like to think I always have everything under control and nothing is hard for me. But this has been hard. And God needed me to go through this so I can refocus and rely on Him. He lent me these three babies to raise, so I know through Him I have every strength and ability I need to do it. He put in my heart the desire to homeschool my child, so I know He will show me how to fit it in to this new life with three little people. I am ashamed to say I doubted His plan in the first few weeks of homeschooling after the baby, I was ready to give up and drive Tucker to a normal school. But He reassured me in many ways. And I am so thankful to my wonderful family and friends who supported and helped me in the last month.
Today is Sadie's one month birthday and I am starting to feel like life is getting back to normal. School is back on track, cleaning is back on track, and my mind is somewhat back on track. That is the hardeest part, focusing and changing my thinking. As busy as I am, I have to make reading the Bible and praying my first priority. This scripture fits my struggle perfectly, John 6:63 NLT, "The Spirit alone gives eternal life. Human effort accomplishes nothing. And the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life." Human effort accomplishes nothing. I have to rely on the Lord. That will be my goal for now, have a blessed day.

One Year Anniversary Gift

A week or so ago I realized that the one year anniversary of the blog was coming up. I couldn't remember the exact date I started this blog. I looked it up and realized it was October 8, 2011. Something (or Someone) told me that would be the day I had baby #3. I felt like it was something God wanted me to keep to myself, but in the back of my mind I really felt like that would be the day. As I shared in a previous post, without the journey this blog has led me on I would not have been emotionally or mentally ready to be at this point in my life. So, I was pleasantly suprised/not suprised when I went in to labor at 5:23pm on October 8, 2011. After a quick 4.5 hour labor and 1 push, Sadie Mae arrived into the world. As I type this, I lay in the hospital with a sweet baby on my chest, enjoying this time that I get to be alone with her. I thank God for this blessing that comes wrapped in a tiny body with dark hair and huge feet. I love my life and I thank God for it every moment.

Things I Have Learned Through Homeschooling

As promised: here is a list of things I have learned and things I like (and dislike) about homeschooling.
*I am lying in bed still at 8 in the morning listen to my kids play and writing this, and we will still finish all of our work before Jimmy gets home.
*My kids get to spend so much time together, they are forming such a strong bond that, I hope, will last the rest of their lives.
*My kids get to spend so much time together, they start bugging the crap out of each other on purpose. (This is much more rare at least.)
*Ava is capable of playing on her own for multiple medium periods of time, allowing for Tucker to complete all of his work.
*Ava is capable of demolishing an entire house in 10 minutes.
*My kids can handle the tough mommy expectations I have for chores better then I thought they could.
*The joy of being with my babies 24 hours a day.
*The reality of being with my crazy monkey children 24 hours a day.
*In the begining it was a little overwhelming to be with them so much, for days on end. But now I am getting used to it and also give myself mommy breaks to Joanns, to hang out with my family, etc. when possible.
*If I am having a bad day and cannot handle teaching all the work that day, we can just finish it throughout the week.
*We can wake up at any time.
*My patience has been increasing.
*Being the one who gets the honor of teaching my son how to read is so exciting and fun. I had no idea I would love it so much and don't want to let anyone else teach him that.
*Observing Tucker learn something new or overcome something that has been difficult for him is one of the best feelings in the world.
*Seeing how much Ava is learning just from being around us.
*Being home so much that potty training will be easier. (nice side effect!)
*Having so much support from the Charter school is amazing!
*Having the flexibility to go to the park and playdates mid day.
*Last, but the most important one. Teaching my children about the Bible, watching Tuck memorize Scripture, teaching about Jesus, and watching their love for God grow is truly priceless and the #1 reason why I wanted to homeschool in the first place. We start every day in the Word, and I hope that is a habit that sticks with them throughout their lives.

I'm sure there are many other reasons and things I have learned that I forgot, but that is the list for now. I know homeschooling is not for everyone, but it works amazingly for our family. I am so thankful I listened to God's leading for us.

Patience Before Homeschooling

I have been thinking over the last month that I should post about the patience I am learning from homeschooling, and I keep getting side tracked with other topics I want to post about. Well, today is the day. And do you know why its the day? Because I have had my patience tested. All. Day. Long. The only reason I can blog right now if because I put both of the kids down for naps/quiet time. Some of you may know, Tucker has not taken naps for two years. Today he is. I have also stopped blogging two (and now three) times because Ava has climbed out of her crib and opened her door. I was about one more tantrum shy from having a tantrum myself when I read a post on my friends Facebook. She said, "When you don't wake up with the Word your whole day can make you feel like you are on the verge of tears! It's so easy for us to think we can handle all the little things...until we don't entrust them to the Lord, then they don't seem so little anymore." (I hope you don't mind me quoting you Kristin!) I love how God can reach me through friends, through Facebook, and through the Word. It has been on my mind lately that although I am doing a lot of Bible work with the kids for school, I am not doing that much for myself. This is definately a wake up call to get back to reading the Bible more and always starting my day with it. So, it is not the begining of my day, but it is the begining of my second half of the day, post-naps. I am going back to the Scriptures that started this blog, Galatians 5:22-26. "But the Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. There is no law that says these things are wrong. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their own sinful selves. They have given up their old selfish feelings and the evil things they wanted to do. We get our new life from the Spirit, so we should follow the Spirit. We must not be proud or make trouble with each other or be jealous of each other." It has almost been a year since I started this journey. It has flown by, but also seems like I have always been this way. The best things in life seem to be that way, like raising kids and not working. I can see parts of why God started this change in my life on October 8th, 2010. (If you weren't reading this blog back then, you might want to check out the first entry.) Because if I had been the same person now that I was then, I dont think I could handle homeschooling. With a two year old. And a new baby on the way. And I don't think I would be handling any of those things seperately very well either. God prepared me for what was ahead, and He is still changing me day by day. The patience I have learned from homeschooling couldn't have been acomplished unless the lessons from the fruit of the Spirit had been soaked up in my life. Patience is not a fun thing to learn, but when you get it (at least for the most part), you have a different outlook on life. You have a peace that passes understanding. And even though I have had a crazy day of disciplining and bickering, when I sit down with the Word and re-center myself, it all goes away. Maybe another day when I am in a more fun mood I will post a list of funny things I have learned and how I have learned patience through homeschooling...but for now I leave you with this, Colossians 1:11-12 "God will strengthen you with his own great power so that you will not give up when troubles come, but you will be patient. And you will joyfully give thanks to the Father who has made you." Thank You Father for strengthening me through Your Word. God is good, have a blessed day!

Dont Settle for Good, Make Your Life Great

I love my church. If you haven't caught my refrences to our church in past posts, I am completely inspired by the pastors, staff, pastors wives, and other awesome people God has put in my life from the Movement. Yesterday's sermon was from John 13:1-35, and was titled "The Keys to Greatness." The main point Pastor Jeremy made was "Don't settle for ordinary... choose to be great. Love like Jesus, live like Jesus, and lead like Jesus." I have had this theme running through my life for the last year or so. The theme of our Life Group is "Just do it," meaning don't think about changing, just do it. Don't be afraid to be bold, just do it. Don't make excuses, just do it. This has lead to big changes in my life. But back to the point. As the Pastor preached I was thinking about ways that I have been ordinary, when instead I could be extraordinary. My life is currently completely about being a mom, wife, and teacher. At the moment I heard that, I didn't feel like I was doing any of those amazingly. I didn't feel like I was doing horribly either, I just felt like I was doing "fine." After three weeks of homeschooling the monotony has begun to wear on me. Somedays we don't leave the house and after a few days of this I think I am going to go insane. Also with being 9 months pregnant I will sometimes *(usually)* be lazy when I can be doing other more productive things. I am incredibly blessed to be with my children 24 hours a day, homeschool them, and put my whole life into them, but that doesn't mean that its easy. So when I heard Pastor Jeremy say that, it inspired me to go about my life with a new passion, a new drive, a new energy. If God put me on this Earth to be a supportive, loving wife and to raise children who truly love God and those around them, then I want to put my all into it. I don't want to look back and wish that I had used the time I had better. I want to look back, no matter what the outcome, and say I did the best job I possibly could.
With this Monday came a new Mommy. I realized I have been just trying to get through the day, trying to complete the school work assigned, and countdown to when Jimmy got home. Today, I marveled at teaching my son how to read, write, and do math. I enjoyed reading books to my baby girl. I was happy doing chores with them (as crazy as that sounds for those of you who know me well ;-). I cleaned the house, not because it is my "job," but because it makes my husband (and I) happy to have a clean home. I read the Bible with my kids. I took my son to his MMA class and spent time with my mom. And all of it was a joy, none of it felt forced or annoying. Sometimes as moms, taking care of everyone and everything can become a burden. But today, it was a blessing. And I pray for myself, and anyone else reading this, that it is always a joy and a blessing. My scripture for today is John 15:11 "I have told you these things so that you can have the same joy I have and so that your joy will be the fullest possible joy." I know that God put me on this planet to be a mother to my kids and a wife to my husband, and I want to do it extraordinarily. How do you want to live your life?