Honor

As some of my Facebook friends might have seen several weeks ago, I was in search of the book "Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids!" A book by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. No one had it, so I waited for awhile, and then after a particularly difficult day of whining and crying (from both Tucker and me), I broke down and ordered it off Amazon. My only regret is that I didn't get this sooner (like 5 years ago when Tucker was soon to be born.) This book is all about a family based on honor. Honor is refrenced thoroughly in the Bible and this book has many Scriptures throughout. Honor is defined as treating people as special, doing more than what's expected, and having a good attitude. It is not possible to whine and honor at the same time. It is also not possible to yell at your children and honor them at the same time. Your children will never learn honor if you are not honoring to them or your spouse. That was the key to me understanding the problems that we have been experiencing with Tucker's behavior lately. I am usually frustrated with Tucker's behavior and am short with him when it comes to correction. When I do that it does not help him to calm down and listen, it sends this particular child into a fury, and it is also not showing him honor. If I honor my child by showing him the time and calm attitude I have to hear him out and then answer him, he has the ability to have an honoring response. This does not give him an excuse to not supply first time obedience, it shows him how people are supposed to respond to each other, with grace and patience.
We have been talking a lot about honor since I started reading the book, and we have had several family discussions around the dinner table about how to honor each other. When Tucker starts whining or arguing, I ask him if his behavior is honoring me or not. Sometimes he will say he is not honoring me and he will stop arguing. Then we will discuss a better way to talk about the issue. Sometimes he says/yells, "I don't want to talk about honoring anymore," and continues in his behavior. It is definately a work in progress, but I can already see fruit. I know that the work I put into bringing this family up in honor will be worth it. It is a lot of work, but it would be either way, right?
I highly recommend this book to any person who believes that the Bible has an answer for everything that life throws at you. But be prepared...this is not a quick fix answer for your child. It is a long term family change that challenges both child and parent. But its worth it :-)