The Fruit of Disorder

Disorder. That is my life. Half of my house in boxes in preparation for a move four days after Christmas. But more then the physical disorder, is the emotional one. It has crept into my home and has everyone out of sorts. There is disrespect, back-talking, and anger coming out from little mouths and big mouths alike. I am exhausted and frustrated at the end of each day, not knowing how to teach little people respect, let alone exhibit it myself. When I read this verse, the word "disorder" leapt off the page into my eyeball. It's exactly the word I have been feeling. 
"For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind." James 3:16 NLT
Selfish is not the first word I would use to describe myself. I feel like I give a lot of myself to my children, husband, and church. But God took some scales off these eyes. In a loving way that only God has, He gently showed how small things can be selfish too. For example, when I get mad that I have to stop reading the Bible to help someone go potty, even though she has been potty trained for a year. Or when I have to explain why God let's it rain when we want to play baseball or why you have to wear shoes to go to Target when I really just want to rock out to Hillsong. They are little things. They are not in and if themselves bad. So the devil says, "You need these things for yourself. Don't let them inconvenience you." But he is wrong. This mentality has been showing its fruit. And it's rotting, hideous, and foul smelling. So, if sowing these thoughts (even unintentionally) has brought about disgusting fruit, what brings about sparkling, clean, beautiful fruit? 
But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. (James 3:17-18 NLT)

Wisdom. And the fruit of wisdom is pure, peace loving, gentle at all times, yielding, full of mercy, good deeds, impartial, sincere, and righteous. I could go for more of that. In fact, my soul yearns for it. God offers it, I need it. He is so good. It is hard to believe sometimes.

My next series will be on wisdom, and all that it entails. I hope you will join me.