Self Control-The Elusive Fruit

Busy, busy, busy! I haven't had one minute to sit down in write in the last few days. I have been working on the fruit even when I am not writing, but I have noticed that because I am not dedicating the focused time to this journey, it is almost as though the fruits are starting to wear off. The longer I go without writing, the easier it is to slip back to the familiar place I was in before. I realized this last night when I started snapping at my husband, then realized it had been so long since I sat down and focused. So, as always, I am trying to stick to my goal of writing daily. As I have said before, busy is not an excuse. If I have time to watch a show, I have time to write. If I have time to read, I have time to write. It's just a matter of priorities.
Self control has so many different areas in comes in contact with. Controlling our emotions, controlling our words, controlling our outward behavior. This week the most evident ways I need to control myself are the following: words and spending.
My words convey the most to those around me. If I am spewing nasty words, I don't look like a very good disciple of Jesus. If I am nagging my husband, I don't look like a very submissive wife. It doesn't matter what you are thinking and feeling on the inside if the outside is a volcano of ugly words. Self control is so hard for me because I think I have the right to say exactly what I am feeling, i.e. no filter. If you make me angry, your going to hear it (at least if your my husband ;-). So I am working on the inside so the outside doesn't get so yucky. If I am better at controlling my emotions on the inside, the words I bring out will be kinder. I also must realize every thought does not have to be verbalized, i.e. put a filter on that mouth. The only words that should come out my mouth should be edifying to those around me. My focus for this is based on Ephesians 4:29-"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace for the hearers." I am going to mediate on that one for awhile.
Some issues are matters of internal or personal interaction. Some issues appear to be external, but everything has an impact on you and those around you. This is how my issue with spending is. Although it is so easy to separate this as money thing, something not so personal, it is completely personal! It affects my relationship with the Lord, because He gave me this money to be a steward of. And it affects my relationship with my family, because it can put a strain on family resources. So, a little history on the subject. I like spending money. I always have. It got out of control when we were first married and we (meaning I) got in debt. We were saved by God's grace when we began Crown Financial. This set us on the road to God's success, we knew how God wanted us to spend and save our money. We got out of debt. Then we got back in debt after having the second baby, spending our savings, and then getting a big tax bill. So that's where we are now. In a relatively small amount of debt, but still in debt. We have a plan, but in order for it to work I have to be very dedicated to it, and I have not been. So this week I started a new step for this plan. I withdrew the cash for the non-bill spending for the week (groceries, gas, entertainment, misc.) and divided it into envelopes. I will only use this money to buy what I need this week. This will force me to stay in my budget. Please pray for me to stick to this, because it will be hard! But I know that if I am faithful, He will be faithful. "So I tell you, don't worry about everyday life-whether you have enough food, drink or clothes. Doesn't life consist of more than food and clothing? Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food up, Your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to Him then they are...Why be like the pagans who are so deeply concerned about these things? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and He will give you all you need from day to day if you live for Him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern." Matthew 6:25-26,32-33. One of my favorite passages and our family verse.
If you have any questions about budgets, envelope spending, how the Lord wants you to spend your money, or if you have been feeling like you need to change what you are doing financially, please contact me and I will do my best to let you know I have learned or direct you to someone who can help you. God bless and control yourself!