Hard--->Tenderhearted

Some days I have a hard time understanding why God wants me to homeschool Tucker. As we speak he is (supposed to be) working on an independent assignment. It's his least favorite: handwriting. He is just not a fine motor skills kind of guy. He stops every word or two and reminds me how much he dislikes it. It's pure joy for me...not. Sometimes being mom and teacher is not fun. But I know God told me to do this. And I know that Tucker is not the only one learning new things. God is using these scriptures to remind me that He is refining me everyday.
Colossians 3:12b-13- "... you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others."
Not only are three out of five virtues fruits of the Spirit, but all five are extremely necessary for the season of life God has put in me in right now. On any given day of homeschooling, I break, pretty much, every single command. Gentleness has always been one of the hardest fruits for me. I am just not a gentle person, apparently. But God is. And I am striving to be like Him. He can teach me how to adopt that personality trait, just like He adopted me-permanently. Tenderhearted mercy! Yet another hard one for me. Why am I so hard??? I have been ruling my roost with an iron fist, running my classroom like a dictator. Tenderhearted. The word alone almost makes me want to cry since it is so far from my heart. It makes me remember when my kids were babies (before they could talk back to me) and how tenderly I held them to my heart, I never wanted to let them go. Lord, please help me to go back to that heart. They are still my babies no matter how big they are. Kindness, humility, patience. All things I lack. But thank God, my Father in Heaven, has these qualities woven into His word to teach me how to treat my children. And verse 13, "Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." As immature as it is to admit it, I take ridiculous offense to Tucker disobeying me. Like scary offense. I so easily forget all of the times I have disobeyed the Lord and He has forgiven me. And I have the audacity to not extend the same compassion, humility, and  tenderhearted mercy to them who have such less offense. Oh, I am so convicted right now. God is working so beautifully in my life, I cannot waste time feeling guilt or condemnation when I see the glorious forgiveness I have received and can then turn around and extend it to others. I am so amped on the Holy Spirit right now. Imagine me doing a whooping yell and a happy dance right now :) :) :) Lord, You are SO GOOD!!! Please let me take this Word into my heart like the blood that runs through it, so deeply I cannot live without it. Change my heart from stone to a soft, comfy, cozy place that my family wants to be. Help me to be tenderhearted, gentle, patient, kind, and humble to, not only my children, but everyone I come in contact with in this dark world. Your Word is the air I breathe, I can't live without it. Amen <3

He Chose (me)

In the midst of the busyness of Thanksgiving weekend-cooking, cleaning, shopping- God reminded me that everything I have to be thankful is from Him, and that even blessings can get in the way of worshiping and pursuing our True Love. So, as I write this I am sitting at my computer in the dining room, which is half way taken apart to be deep cleaned and put back together, to sit and worship my True Love. I literally dropped my cleaning rag in the middle of cleaning and grabbed my Bible to study, and God called me back to the Scripture I started writing about a few days ago, Colossians 3:12-17.

Starting from the beginning  verse 12 says, "Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves..." Hold up. I can't get past that, let me say that again. "Since God chose (me) to be the holy people He loves..." 

me. Little old me. Someone who has a hard heart, who chose other things above Him, who questions His wisdom. Someone He knew would do these things, yet He sent His Son anyway. He chose me. He chose me (and you) to be the holy people He loves. Pardon me repeating myself, but, He LOVES us! Unbelievable. And it doesn't matter who you are, what you have done, what you are going to do, or any other thing in this world. He loves you more then anyone in this world ever could (even more than your mom ;-). There is nothing you can do to make Him love you more, and there is nothing you can ever do to make Him love you less. There is nothing as guaranteed as this. Although I know this, it still strikes me as amazing, the greatest gift anyone could ever receive. 

So...I am going to take a little while to meditate, marinate, ruminate on this promise and let it soak in to brain and heart properly. Once that is completed, I will move on to verse 12 part b, since I can't even get past part a! God is good friends, and He LOVES YOU!!!

Chosen One's

It's been awhile... With busyness that having three children brings, I have not been blogging very much. And even more, I haven't felt the Lord put on my heart anything to say. So imagine my surprise this morning when the Lord did lead me to write and all of my children just *happen* to be still asleep. I am excited to see what the Lord has to say to me today :)
Last night I caught a glimpse of a Scripture someone posted on Facebook, Colossians 3:12-17. It is a familiar passage, if only its Words would stick to my mind like the dried oatmeal stuck to my kitchen table (which you moms may know, is like cement!) So, I asked God to remind me to read it in the morning to start my day off with a prepared mind and heart. This morning, this is what I read: "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (Colossians 3:12-17 ESV) I just LOVE how perfect, relevant, and true God's Word is every single time.
Let me preface this a little bit. In the time I have not been blogging, I have struggling with anger in my parenting. Big time. I am ashamed to say it, but I have to confess it so that I can repent of it and allow God to change my heart. I love my children and know that being a parent is a huge responsibility. God is giving me the privilege of having the largest influence they will ever experience. He chose me, a sinner and flawed human being, to raise other mini human beings. I am the "chosen one" for these three babies. I have to treat them as something special, something to be cherished. They belong to God, not me. I need to steward them with the special care that I would treat someone's most *special* possession. Because they are God's most special possession, every single one of us is. Whoops, got going there a little ;) So, that being said, I am going to *attempt* to do a series of posts on Colossians 3:12-17. No promises on how long it will be between posts, but I feel like God wants me to do this and as long as I keep feeling that way I will continue writing. Meditate on this Scripture and see what God speaks to your heart. I was going to try to start on verse 12 today, but two out of my three children just woke up. One just lost his tooth and one is trying to lay on my face. So, I think God is telling me to save that for next time ;) Have a blessed day!