"Is this what I want to be doing when Christ comes back?"

I just finished Francis Chan's "Crazy Love" about 5 minutes ago. The last section of the book shares the same title as my blog entry today: "Is this what I want to be doing when Christ comes back?" This book has inspired me like no other book (other than the Bible, of course ;-). Francis' honesty and frank style has the ability to move you past the edge of comfort. But this is what we were called for. Through reading this book I was inspired to follow a calling to stay home with my children. I have been looking at my life in a different light. The last section of this book he says, "...how will you answer the King when He says, 'What did you do with what I gave you?'" This is not the first time I have heard this, but it hit me harder this time. That leads me to the question at the begining of this post, what do I want to be doing when Jesus comes back? I would be happy if Jesus came back while I was blogging :-) Because I write for His glory and for my growth in Him. I definately do not want Him to come back when I am yelling at my kids, or nagging my husband, or sitting on my butt when I could be doing something important. But the reality is He could come back at anytime, and I should be living like that. This is the mindset I need to be in constantly. Earlier in the book, Francis asks what is the one sentence you will be remembered by when your gone? Our Pastor has said this several times and it has always caught my attention. I wrote down what I wanted my sentence to be the first time our Pastor asked. What I wrote was, "She trusted the Lord with her whole life, and because of this her family and friends believed." After hearing the question again, I added another sentence for the season of my life I am in now. "She taught her children to love God, love His people, and take care of his creation." He goes on to say, what are you doing to make this your life? That was the moment that I realized I needed to stay home with my babies. For me to fulfill my life sentences this is what I needed to do. And that is what I want to being doing if Jesus comes back. Living the life He made me for. He closes out the book with this command. "Now close this book. Get on your knees before our holy, loving God. And then live the life with your friends, your family, parents, spouse, children, neighbors, enemies, and strangers that He has empowered you through the Holy Spirit to live. May you be able to say at the end of your life, along with Paul, 'I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.'-2 Timothy 4:7-8." So this is what I need to do!
What is your life sentence? And what are you doing to live it out? No more excuses, be who God made you to be!

When It Rains...

It seems quite appropriate that it rained yesterday and today, because life has been pouring down on me. After the last two days, I feel like getting my car and driving away and not coming back. Without going into too much detail, most parts of my life are in difficult phases. My 4 year old (sorry, 4 and 3/4) is going through an attitude phase where he has no respect for his father or me. He rages and throws fits when he feels like it. And no amount of discipline is changing it. My almost 2 year old has a new angry face and walks around saying, "I no like that" about most things. Problems with close family members are overwhelming us and we can't agree on what to do about them. On top of all this I have some ferocious hormones going on and I cry about the smallest things. After all of this reaching its maximum point this afternoon, my first desire is to drive away. But I know in my heart that is not what I really want. I just want a reprieve from this pressure. And when I turn to the Bible and prayer, I do get that reprieve. It is not easy to read the Bible when my children are screaming and I can't even hear myself think. But I pray. And I listen to worship music. And I do what I can. Then I read the Bible when there is peace, and in the morning, and at night. It is the only thing I can do. Because shutting close family out of my life is not an option. And closing my kids in their rooms all day is not an option (although I wish it was sometimes ;-). And driving away from it all isn't an option.

God is putting a song in my head and it is so fitting (of course!) "Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns. I have included the lyrics below. I know that God uses all things for the good of those who love Him, and the trials we go through bring us closer to him. I am going to listen to this song and thank God for all He does.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus:]
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus]

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Joy Like A Child

With my new life of being a stay at home mom has come a complete peace that often passes understanding. It is different having them all day-every day, but I love it! I feel like my entire life has more order and I am now able to accomplish the things I wasn't able to before. Rather than feeling rushed from place to place, trying to complete chores, errands, etc., now I feel like we have time to do everything. And because we are not rushed, I have time to enjoy the little things that I missed before.
Today the Lord gave me a revelation while watching my children. Ava and Tucker were dancing to worship music and the dancing turned to spinning. They spun around the room in circles, giggling and falling down. They had no other thought in the world other than spinning and enjoying themselves. Their joy was evident on their faces and the sound of their laughter. As I watched them, God pointed out to me their childlike joy. They have no worries, they are not thinking of bills that have to be paid, they are focusing on what brings them joy. I need to focus on what brings me joy. And what is that? Being the best wife and mother that God designed me to be. I am going to make it my goal for the week to focus on the joy I get from following the Lord's calling in my life and work on being an even better wife and mother. My inspiration for this week comes from Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Although this verse does not mention joy, it does mention things that bring joy. And that is what I plan on focusing on this week. I hope you are called to do the same :-) Have a blessed day!